From Ed Stasiak@firstname.lastname@example.org to rec.arts.movies.current-films on Wed Mar 31 19:10:49 2021
From Newsgroup: rec.arts.movies.current-films
Watched the movie today and I’d say the SFX are good and the monster fights are good but the overall plot is retarded but then that’s what we get when Hollywood takes Chinese money to make movies. Expect more stupid nonsensical plots like this in the future, as the Chinese only care about kewl! SFX. Godzilla Girl, Black Alex Jones and Fat Deadpool Kid are pretty much irrelevant.
Evil Mexican Corporate Guy has gigantic bazillion dollar facilities all over the
place for his nefarious plan to build Mechagodzilla and nobody in the government
knows or cares.
Lots of shit just happens out of the blue with no explanation how the characters
got there. For example, King Kong is locked up in a huge bio-dome somewhere and
we’re told all the islanders on Skull Island (which has now been moved to south
of Hawaii) died because of a “storm”, then suddenly Kong is being transported on
a ship to Antarctica so he can go down into the Hollow Earth.
Yes, the Earth is hollow… and there’s jungles and mountains and big lizard type
creatures down there and apparently King Kong’s ancestors built this castle type
thing with a King Kong sized throne and there’s a magical Kong sized battle axe
made out of Unubtainum that he later uses against Godzilla and Mechagodzilla. Meanwhile, Godzilla “senses” Evil Mexican Corporate Guy’s Mechagodzilla and goes
to Hong Kong to fight but Mechagodzilla can’t work until the humans who followed
Kong into the Hollow Earth obtain some of the Unubtainum to power it, which they
somehow do… via cellphone… from the center of the Earth.
Godzilla then “senses” Kong is down in the Hollow Earth and literally uses his
atomic breath to blast a hole all the way to the center of the Earth, (seriously)
which Kong then climbs up in like 5mins with the magical battle axe and fights Godzilla but Godzilla wins and Kong is all beat up and passed out.
Then Mechagodzilla bursts out of the Hong Kong hillside and beats the shit out’a
Godzilla but because he’s powered by Unubtainum, he becomes self-aware and kills
Evil Mexican Corporate Guy and starts trashing the city just to be a dick. Meanwhile, little Deaf Asian Girl (who is King Kong’s friend and talks to him using sign-language) say Kong is going to die, so Scientist Guy takes the Hollow
Earth spaceship and lands on Kong’s chest and flips a switch, turning it into a
giant defibrillator that heals Kong, who now helps Godzilla fight Mechagodzilla but they’re still both getting their asses kicked until Fat Deadpool Kid spills
some booze on the control panel in Evil Mexican Corporate Guy’s lair and shorts
out Mechagodzilla, allowing Kong to go ape-shit and chop him up with the magical
Kong and Godzilla then kinda acknowledge that they’re both Good Guy badasses and Godzilla swims away and Kong goes to live with his human friends down in the Hollow Earth. The End. Surprisingly there are no mid/end credits scenes setting up future movies but I’d say this flick, as stupid as it is, is still worth watching (for free).
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